Some Thoughts

I promised more updates, my schedule has been pretty packed lately but time to put one up.

I've been posting mostly facts (to the best of my ability... but remember to always double check with the school!), but not so much about how I feel.

So let's try that.  Let's talk fears.

I'm currently in my last full semester before applying.  This is pretty much the end of one period of my life, and the beginning of a transition to another.  A period of my life that's taken a looong time to end.  I've talked about how I screwed up in the past, and I don't know if I can show an admissions committee that I have what it takes to handle pharmacy school.

Another big fear I have is that I have no plan on how to pay for pharmacy school if I do get accepted.  Pharmacy school isn't cheap, and costs are only rising.  My credit is not that good, so I don't know how that's going to affect loans.  So I'm afraid that should I actually get accepted, it'll be as if I ran a race and somehow beat the others that no one thought could be beaten... only to trip on my shoe lace right at the finish.  (Or insert the ending to Cool Runnings, a movie about a Jamaican bobsled team.)

Both of these are basic fears of the unknown.  Everyone has those.  But those are the two big ones.

I'm confidant in my abilities, but I think these fears have led to some self sabotage along the way, including my performance last semester.  And that's the one that hurts the most.  If I don't get in, that will be one of the big reasons I think.

Being as analytical as I am, I do have a backup plan at least.  I'm taking all the biotech courses at my community college, which are pretty interesting.  It won't quite be what I was hoping for, but having that backup plan does provide a shield to prevent a total breakdown.

In Serious Need of an Update

Hey look at that. I got a comment.  For some reason I've been meaning to update, but it keeps on getting pushed back.  But it's a good time to take this opportunity and start up again.

I've missed the Summer and Fall without updating.  Here's just a simple summary to get caught up and continue one from here.

In short, I took Cell Biology and General Biochem in the summer, and I think I found a professor to give me a good Letter of Rec in my Cell Biology teacher.  I haven't asked her to write it yet, but I did ask her if she would when I need it (which will be coming up later this year.)  Those two classes were my final two classes at San Francisco State.

Bad news, I did not do well last semester at my community college.  The biggest problem... I seem to have extremely poor sleeping habits.  It's been going on for a while, and it really messed me up.  I was getting 4 to 6 hours a night most nights for no good reason, and I really need at least 7.5 to 8.5 hours to learn and perform optimally.

I feel like an idiot for what happened.  I feel that my chances in getting in a Pharmacy School in California have been seriously hampered.  While I thought I had a chance before, I just don't know anymore.

The PCAT is becoming more and more important for me to take and researching out of state schools.  All hope isn't lost, but I took a wrong turn that is absolutely all my fault.

Expect more regular updates again from here.

P.S. Thanks to California Pharmacy Schools for sparking the return of my updates by commenting on this post.