(Image from minoritylawstudents.org
I was in the shower, and the beginning to this attempt at a personal statement came to me. It wasn't something I was actively trying to figure out. So as soon as I was finished, I sat down at my computer, and started to type and this is what came out.
-----
The coin spun. My eyes traced its path. I caught it and slapped it onto the back of my other hand. Heads. My major was going to be physics.
The problem with being good at everything, the problem with being told you can be anything, is that you have everything to choose from. I didn’t know what I wanted to be, but I was supposed to pick a major, so I flipped a coin. I transferred to San Francisco State University with 112 units, just one year out of high school. The problem was that I had no motivation. Physics interested me, but that was it. I had no goal. I tried to force my way through it, but there was no motivation and I was depressed, and physics wasn’t meant to be.
I took a semester off to work construction for my dad. The time off of school, working with my hands was meant to give me time to consider where my future would take me. My brother was a marine reserve, and my parents suggested looking into the armed forces. I stepped into the Air Force recruitment office, and we had a talk. I was given a list of careers that the Air Force could train me in, but jobs such as mechanic or pilot didn’t interest me. Then at the end one word popped out amongst all others. Pharmacist. I scanned the rest of the list but my eyes popped back up to that one word. It’s not something I had ever considered before, but it seemed like it could fit me. I didn’t join the Air Force, and instead returned to school. I didn’t have a fully realized goal in my head, but at least I had a potential concept in my head that could help guide me.
I returned to school taking classes in biology and chemistry, and decided it was time to join an organization. School as a physics major was just a place to be. I wanted it to feel like a place I belonged. So I joined Alpha Phi Omega, a national co-ed service fraternity. It caught my eye because it was nothing like what my expectations of fraternities was like. I did hundreds of hours of community service, and enjoyed how much immediate satisfaction I could have in helping out others, and I enjoyed how much it was helping myself grow. I ended up helping to recruit and coordinate translators for the 42nd International Children’s Games, I spear-headed the Multi-cultural AIDS Awareness Day on San Francisco State University three years in a row and got to meet Mayor Gavin Newsom. I believed in the purpose and potential of the organization and so held positions coordinating our service program, developing our membership, and coordinated it all as president.
This satisfaction led to being president of the Fraternity Sorority Council, being a committee member of the Office of Student Programs and Leadership Development, and eventually founding a Pre-Pharmacy Association at San Francisco State University as the founding vice president. The problem was that this is where my priorities lied. All of my attention lay in these organizations. And when it seemed as if some people in my fraternity were slowly changing the atmosphere to a social fraternity and away from its stated purpose of being focused on service, I focused my energies in protecting something that I felt was worthwhile, and my grades fell.
There were other reasons. The first close death in the family happened when my grandma died, and I withdrew from most of my classes. I successfully lost thirty pounds after living with being overweight my entire life, only to tear my ACL playing volleyball, and losing my ability to run, sinking me into what may have been more than a minor depression. But the fact of the matter is that I had been a bad student. My priorities weren’t balanced and I wasn’t taking a long view of the future. I had a talking point in my head, in pharmacy, but it wasn’t something I truly believed in. And so my grades fell, not because I tried and failed, but because I didn’t try at all, to the point of forgetting about midterms because my attendance was abysmal.
And then it happened. I got put on academic probation by the school. I finally took a real look at my academic career, and saw that it was leading me nowhere. It was time to give up on biochemistry as a major, and time to give up on pharmacy. I switched to psychology because it had also interested me, and I began wondering what kind of future I could have in that field.
Then it struck me. During my year away from pharmacy, I rediscovered the joy of learning. I rediscovered that it was the challenging classes that were the most engaging, and were the classes that I did the best in. And I discovered that I missed pursuing pharmacy. When I left physics as a major, I felt relief. I was happy that it was no longer the path I was on. But it wasn’t happening this time. I enjoyed my classes in psychology, but I missed pharmacy even more.
My time with the Pre-Pharmacy Association had transformed that talking point in my head, into a true desire, and I hadn’t realized it. There was always parental pressure on me to enter the health field among other things. I knew I didn’t want to be a doctor and work with a lot of blood. Ignoring all that, pharmacy fit. The breadth of opportunity that I only learned by participating in the PPA amazed me. When you’ve been told you can be anything, you want to be everything. And the pharmacy profession seemed to embrace that concept. Research, improving the health of others, teaching, management, and so much more. Even constant encouragement for leaders who want to help change the field. A profession that is directly related to one of the major topics of the present days in healthcare.
In just two semesters away, I realized what I had given up in forgoing pharmacy. It wasn’t something I could do. If I try and fail, then so be it. But the attempt had to be made. So with the newfound resolve, I took steps to give myself the best chance possible of making it into the field that was meant for me. I even started a blog 2pharmschool.blogspot.com to ensure that I would keep focused. Pharmacy was no longer just a word to say. There would be no toss of a coin this time. I knew what I wanted. I finally had a goal.
-----
Ok, this is very rough. First of all, I copy/pasted this into PharmCAS and the word count was over 6k characters. PharmCAS has a limit of 4.5k. I'm going to have to cut it down by 25% for it to even be accepted. (Word 2007 doesn't do character count! My old version of Word was able to! Shame, shame, shame, Microsoft.)
I like the image of a coin flip starting out the personal statement, in terms of being catchy. Now is it a good way to present myself? I'm hoping by the end, it shows how I've changed, but I'll have to get more opinions on it. And of course the concept is there, but the wording can be improved.
The next thing is,that most of the statement is explaining away faults, and not enough promoting any positives. I'd like to have that more balanced. Although at this point I have no choice but to incorporate my faults into my statement. I don't have the luxury in being able to choose from a wide variety of topics to address. I still need to also make sure it's clear as to why I'm pursuing pharmacy and what I have to offer.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment