Who am I? Part 2

So I'm looking at pharmacy schools, and studying to be a pharmacy technician, but who am I?  At what point am I at in getting into pharmacy school, and why am I at this point?

So I finally had a goal in life, more than go to school because it's expected of me.  So what happened?

Well, first things first.  I came back to school with pharmacy in mind, yet I said I'll be graduating with a degree in Psychology?  Why did I choose that?  The answer is: I didn't.

I came back to school pursuing a degree in biochemistry.  The much more obvious choice.  It's a very logical choice when it comes to relating my major with my career goal, and chemistry was the flip side of the coin when I originally chose my major.

But I wasn't happy just coming back to school with a new major.  Taking physics without a career goal isn't the only reason that I lost interest in what I was doing.  I lived in the East Bay for the San Francisco Bay Area, and I was commuting to San Francisco State University.  The commute was enough of a hassle that all I did was commute to school, take my physics classes, commute home.  All the other physics students (who were all much older than me), all would stay on campus for all kinds of hours.

I just couldn't do it.

And so I had no connection to the present.  I was solely working for my future, a future that was as vague as can be.  Life was pretty dull and lifeless at this point, and if I was going to go back to school, that also had to change.

So I joined a school organization.  I liked it.  I joined another.  I took on more and more leadership roles, and took on more tasks, never saying no whenever anyone asked for help.  I was doing community service and helping to develop the campus, and it felt good.  I was doing something that had immediate results.

Not only did it feel good helping out others, but I saw changes in myself.  I was becoming a lot less shy, and seeing how easy it was to do one task or another.

Almost all of that is a good thing.  Developing myself is a good thing.  Getting enjoyment for helping others and developing the community around me is a good thing.  Never saying no is not.

I took on too many tasks, all at the same time, and during my later semesters this was on top of taking 100% biology and chemistry classes.  That wasn't a smart thing.  Even worse, the organizations that I was in were taking a higher priority over my school work.  I felt worse letting other people down, rather than letting myself down, so my schooling was the first to give in under all that weight.

And so when people would ask me when I was going to graduate, my answer would be "Maybe in a year."  And it would be that answer semester after semester.

Eventually, I finally took a real look at what my transcripts looked like, and I knew there was no chance that I would get into pharmacy with that record.  I saw that I had taken a few psychology classes just for fun, and saw that I could graduate within a year if I switched majors.

Pharmacy was something I couldn't trick myself with anymore.  I needed to give it up, and just find a way to graduate.  At 27 I should have been in graduate school by now, or at the very least close to it.  At this point I knew I just needed to get some kind of degree after all this time, and I'd figure things out during the switch.

At the time, my pursuit of pharmacy was over.